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August 9, 2007
So all the build-up and speculation we’ve had the last couple months, and the show is finally on! I was actually surprised that the Venusian Arts guys didn’t promote it much, since it turned out to be one hell of a show!
For those unfamiliar with the show’s background, the VH1 show features 8 guys competing for the title of “Master Pick-Up Artist,” and even go around teaching with the crew on their following bootcamp tour. Mystery says in 8 weeks, he will have one of them at the level of MPUA.
Let’s stop right there.
People who have been cold approaching, know that it take a hell of a lot longer than 8 weeks of practice to turn someone from zero into someone that can get attractive women consistently, let alone become a “master at it.” I doubt that the co-instructors of the show Matador and J-dog took only 8 weeks to get this good.
But, with these kinds of shows, you just smile at the hype and keep watching. Early on, we meet the eight new students involved. You get a look at these guys that are trying to learn this, and instantly feel better about yourself. Half of them are virgins, first of all, including a 45 year old man named Fred. I kinda felt sorry for the guy, and would help him out personally for free if he was local. No one should go that much of his adult life without finding someone. Fred, if you’re in San Diego, send me an email!
The most attractive contestant on the show is Alvaro, who at first makes you surprised that he’s even on there to learn in the first place. However, this expectation is reversed when the guys are taken to the club to approach, and Alvaro is the only one who doesn’t talk to a single girl. He didn’t even try. I couldn’t believe he got selected for this show to be taught by a guy who usually costs 5000 big ones, and he didn’t even approach. I was surprised Mystery didn’t eliminate him on the spot. We’ll see what happens with him.
Another interesting guy on the show is Joe. Joe looks like a gay version of Owen Wilson. Apparently, I’m not the only person who found him to be a little homo, since the first thing he says is that most girls think he’s gay. I guess that’s a legitimate sticking point to work with. Some vocal and image training could help. Then he looks around a house and says, “This… is soooo ADORABLE!!” I started having flashbacks to when my gay roommate of a few years back had Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on.
$50 says that by the end of the season, Joe calls our favorite Indian co-instructor, “Matadorable.”
The only other guy that really stood out to me was this studious looking Indian named Pradeep. He is the opposite archetype of Matador. Matador destroys all Indian stereotypes, Pradeep exaggerates them. The guy looks overtechnical, never smiles, and just is plain dorky. This is the guy that if Mystery can change him, it will be unbelievable and he will become THE seduction coach of the present era.
As for the coaches we have, Mystery looks pretty peacocked and flashy in his gear, though not even close to the most decked out I’ve seen him. Matador looks pretty cool, but is oddly wearing a ton of lip gloss.
Then there’s J-dog. I’ve met the guy, and he was pretty cool and normal. Then out of nowhere, I see him on TV with bleached blonde short hair, with blue streaks here and there. Not what I was expecting. He had the quote of the show:
“I’ve been a mastuh PUA for three yeas.” Yes, it sounded that bad.
But hey, as I said, smile and look past the hype.
Mystery tells the students to go out and be themselves in the club. This was genius, because it’ll prove once and for all to the naysayers that advising someone unsuccessful with women to be himself simply will not work.
The guys all crash and burn, except Alvaro, who wusses out. Then Mystery and his crew show how its done. This was a GREAT segment. I actually was taking notes.
Highlights of the scene include:
- Jdog saying he loves the girls and saying “pinky love,” while hooking pinkies with them. This is a very non-invasive kino maneuver, which I will use from now on.
- A girl asks Jdog what he does for a living, and he says “Are you ready for this…” and pauses. The girl says, “Yeah,” and he says, “I’m an engineer.” Boring job, but the way he set it up, it actually sounded pretty cool, and it didn’t give the girl an “I’m bored” oh answer. You’d really have to see it to understand
- Matador having a girl backed into his chest with his arms around her intimately, whispering in her ear, “I only promise good conversation, ok?” then pushing her off him. Talk about push-pull!
- A stunning girl tells Mystery, “I can put my leg on your shoulder!” An impressive claim for her being 5′5, and Mystery being 6′5 plus whatever lifts he’s wearing. He answers with, “Buy me a drink… before you hit on me like that.” I’d been wondering how that delivery goes, and now I know.
All in all, this looks like it’ll be an interesting, as well as educational show. I hear every guy on there will cry at one point, which always makes for good reality TV.
Next week: Monday, 9:00PM, Episode 2. Don’t miss it!
As of this writing, Episode 1 is still on YouTube, split into 6 parts, starting with this one: Get it before it’s removed! http://youtube.com/watch?v=F7iHCdNmlHc
Filed by dan at August 9th, 2007 under Uncategorized
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May 13, 2007
I’m lucky enough to live next to the beach, where, during the summer, there are plenty of hot women walking around. I usually stay in a particular area, but one day last week I decided to see what was behind the rocks. I climbed up, and behold: DOG BEACH!
At this section of the beach, everyone is allowed to bring their dogs and let them play in the water with them. Usually, there are just a few splashing around, but this was an 80 degree Saturday so it was packed. There had to be at least 70 dogs running all around me. It was a great energy, and a lot fun to just watch them run around.
It got interesting, however, when you tried to get a dog’s attention. It was impossible. There was so much stimulation, that you could not possibly register in a dog’s head for more than a half second. All of them had ADD and were jumping to the next most stimulating place. Dogs were chasing each other and running in and out of the water.
Keep in mind that dogs are probably the friendliest animals alive. With a few breeds that are aggressive exceptions, almost every dog will lick your face just because you said hi and patted it on the head.
However, like any other being in this universe, a dog is only as friendly as much as what options are available. In the Ocean Beach bars and shops area, dogs are friendly and polite, but not nearly as outgoing. They’ll let you pet them, but they’ll walk off if there’s a half-interesting smell on the street.
Now why would a dog not be overly excited when you go up, say “You’re so cuuuuute,” and pat his head? Because it happens every 7 seconds! In other words, they don’t need you. There are people giving them attention all the time, that frankly, they take it for granted.
Now take this a step further and go to Dog Beach where there are tons more people and tons more dogs. You will not even be a blip on the radar. It’s practically impossible for you to keep a dog’s attention there.
This is not so different as trying to meet girls at a loud, bouncing club with colored lights flashing all over the place. There’s just too much for you to really have an impact? This is why in these kinds of clubs, we often peacock, wearing flashy clothes that stand out.
Now if I really needed personal validation from dogs liking me in the Ocean Beach bars and shops area , I guess I could get on all fours and start acting playful with the dogs. For some reason, dogs trip out when a human is on all fours. It’s as if he transformed into one of them and there’s no longer the height difference. While weirding out every human in the area, I’d probably get the dog’s affection that way.
But even doing that in the Dog Beach area would get me limited results. It might stop dogs for a second to see what was up with this human moving on all fours in the beach, but eventually, the next shiny thing would come along and I would fade out, and probably look like I was trying too hard.
What’s the moral of this? You can’t take it personally if you get blown off in a high stimulus environment. There are too many distractions, and you must be solid in all areas to get attention. In fact, you sometimes have to be a dancing monkey with bells and whistles to talk to a group of girls for a while, which doesn’t even get you laid, most of the time.
Tyler from RSD says that you should go in at a slightly higher energy level then the girls you approach. Now what would that mean if you go into a set where the girl’s are jumping up and down, like little kids, screaming? You have to jump up and down, too, or you’re boring. Or if you come in chill, you better be DANG interesting.
Bottom line: If you’re having trouble holding sets, consider that your environment might not be condusive to it. The only real important thing about a venue for picking up is that there be a lot of girls to approach.
That’s why I avoid (for pickup purposes) loud clubs, concerts, clubs with crazy lights and smoke machines.
Quiet lounges are better, as long as they have enough girls for you.
And day game, that’s the easiest from what I gather, though I haven’t really focused on mastering that. Less stimulation and less competition. Just as a dog gets less excited for each human that pets him while he’s out, girls get less excited and validated from each guy to approach them. So if it’s during the day, an approach is rare and more appreciated.
I want to conclude with reminding you that even if day game is easier, it’s important to build your skills in night game just because there are so many sets available. Practice is important.
Comment with your thoughts.
–Dan
Filed by dan at May 13th, 2007 under Uncategorized
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Hey guys,
If you’re spoiler-sensitive, you might want to wait to see Spiderman 3
before reading this.
I saw Spiderman 3 at the imax a couple days ago and it was amazing.
Truly oscar worthy, in my opinion.
A lot of people who didn’t like the movie missed that the main plot
element is the journey of Peter Parker’s ego.
From the beginning his ego is big already because of his newfound
media and community appreciation, and has already started putting on
blinders of how some people react around him, which puts some people
off. However this doesn’t really affect him, because he’s blinded from
any negative reaction to him.
Then he gets this alien black costume which gives him even stronger
powers, and adds this studly cockiness to his inner game. You see him
looking fly and walking cocky through the streets, and he starts
turning heads from hot girls that pass.
Then he gets even MORE cocky and starts dancing through the street
like an idiot. Girls start looking at him like “Who is this weirdo?”
are are completely put off. However, there are still some girls who
are drawn to him, like Gwen Stacy, and the Daily Bugle secretary Betty
Brant. Those girls are magnetically attracted to him, so he just
assumes EVERY OTHER girl is attracted too.
It’s what Tyler was talking about in Foundations, the “It’s always on”
frame. I’ve seen that in some people I know who get laid a lot, a guy
will be chasing a girl down the street to get her number, massaging
her shoulders while she’s trying to escape, then her friend will help
her get into a cab and he’ll come back and say “It was so on but I got
cockblocked.”
Now is that a good or bad reality to have? The problem with that
inflated ego is that it adds an extra vulnerability to you, which the
movie points out.
When Peter Parker is at a piano bar dancing up a storm to make Gwen
Stacy swoon while making Mary Jane jealous, suddenly it starts to go
wrong. Gwen realizes that Parker is reacting to Mary Jane instead of
acting on his own accord, and she suddenly loses interest. Bouncers
from the bar start asking Parker to leave, after he starts talking
shit to Mary Jane.
Parker just can’t leave the bar, he CAN’T. His ego won’t let him. It’s
so big, and if he leaves gracefully, that would mean he’s less
powerful than he’s let himself believe himself to be. So of course he
has to fight the bouncers and beat some people up. Very reactive.
So Parker’s become a very reactive alpha guy, which shows he’s really
insecure inside, and incongruent. Also, with this oversized ego, while
there’s a power-rush, there’s also that hidden negativity inside and a
sense of vulnerability. This can cause him to change to low-value if
conditions don’t go his way.
Anyway, I learned something from it, and thought it was a great film.
Let me know your thoughts.
–Dan
Filed by dan at May 13th, 2007 under Uncategorized
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March 2, 2007
Hey Guys,
Tyler from RSD is the one who got me into being a master at AMOGing (dealing with male cockblocks messing with your sets). Before, it used to be my greatest weakness, but now it’s my forte in the field. I can get guys to eject a set even if the girls don’t like
me. I posted some of my stuff earlier, and the original article is at http://www.pickupmastery.com/cockblocks.htm
So onto the handshakes.
Usually, you can see an AMOG threat coming before he actually starts
messing with you. If a dominant guy comes in, or a friend of the
girl’s who might distract her, you want to neutralize any chance he
has of taking the set. So when you are introduced, you give him a
special handshake.
There are three I’ve found so far:
1) The Badboy AMOG handshake.
Badboy came up with this one, in which you shake the guy’s hand, pull
his hand forward to you, and check your elbow into his chest.
While this is a very dominant move, I think it has a high chance of
starting a fight. I think any guy you would actually need to show this
much dominance too would get really aggressive and in your face from
this, so I don’t recommend it.
2) The Donald Trump Handshake.
If you watch the Apprentice, Donald Trump will try to out-alpha any
male he meets, especially a candidate for the Apprentice. When shaking
hands, he will so a much milder version of the Badboy handshake. He’ll
shake the guy’s hand, but do a slight, quick pull in one direction or
the other, rendering the guy off balance. It’s dominant and shows
you’re on top, while subtle enough that it will go unnoticed.
3) The PB Handshake:
I learned this one while sarging the Pacific Beach bars in San Diego,
CA. Tyler says this place is the school of hard knocks for AMOG
training, and it’s true. Big alpha guys would do this one on me when a
female friend of theirs I was sarging introduced me to them.
What you do is you reach for his hand, put your other arm around his
shoulder, and LIFT his hand up, straight up to where where your chest
is, with your arm flexed and elbow sticking up above your shoulder.
There should be an inverted triangle between your upper arm, lower
arm, and chest, and his hand should be touching your upper chest from
you pulling it up.
When you do this, this makes him feel stiff, uncomfortable, and
dominated. Unless a guy just seems super chill and friendly from the
beginning, I’ll do the PB hand shake just to keep him in check, just
to be sure.
Have fun with this, and let me know if you need more clarification of
what these look like.
–Dan
Filed by dan at March 2nd, 2007 under Uncategorized
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February 18, 2007
I’ve been meaning to post this for a while.
One of the benefits of living in Southern California is that I’ve been able to rub shoulders with most of the top dating gurus in the country. I’ve also met plenty of men who have trained under them and gained enormous success with women.
A lot of these guys have had a practice of sleeping with married women, or at the very least, women in committed relationships. While I haven’t knowingly done either, I can see why it would be attractive and invigorating. It’s a rush of power, knowing you can have a woman you want, even if she is “taken.” It makes you feel like your skills are that good that you can steal a woman away from her committed lover. There’s also the good feeling of being the “bad boy” and cause a woman to cheat, being the serpent that entices Eve to the forbidden fruit.
You can rationalize this in many ways:
“It was really a good relationship, she wouldn’t cheat. I’m doing them a favor.”
“It’s her decision whether to stay faithful, not mine.”
“If it’s not me, it’s going to be some other guy anyway, might as well be me.”
While there are strong answers to each of these objections, they are unnecessary. I’m not arguing on a moral level here, of what’s right and wrong. I’m not talking what’s best for the poor guy who gets cheated on. I’m not even talking about what’s best for the girl. I’m talking about your future.
Men who sleep with women who cheat are creating a different kind of karma for themselves.
Remember when I said I have been able to rub shoulders with so many dating coaches and pick up artists who sleep with cheating women? They have one thing in common.
They all have major trust issues.
They have resigned themselves to the fact that women are not loyal creatures, that they act on emotion and impulse, and cannot be trusted to abstain from sex outside a committed relationship.
These men have essentially destroyed their relationship future by setting up a belief system that doesn’t allow them to fully surrender and trust a woman as a girlfriend, a wife, or anything in between. One excellent dating coach I know told his class of new PUA’s “Just accept it. They’ll cheat.” Another said “You’re either the guy men cheat on, or the guy men cheat with.” Sounds like a recipe for loneliness to me.
Now there are some objections to this, which I will answer.
“Women only cheat on beta-men. I’m alpha so I can get away with it.”
In any long term relationship, you WILL be “beta” at one point. There will be times when you lose your job, when you’re in a serious accident or ill and not looking pretty for a bit, when a parent dies and you don’t leave the house for days. This is when having a loyal woman you can trust pays off.
“You’re just putting blinders on. Not believing women are all cheaters won’t change the truth”
Yes, I have blinders on, but so do you, and so does everyone else who walks this earth. The people who have developed suspicious beliefs about women have blinders in which they remember and recognize the women who cheat and forget or don’t even see the women that don’t. They remember the woman with the diamond ring flirting with them, but forget about the countless women who politely excuse themselves to go to the bathroom or dancefloor after 5 minutes of conversation.
We really cannot know the exact percentage of women who are faithful. There is a spectrum, to be sure. But all things being equal, which belief do you want? What belief will lead you to being happier during your post-sarging life? (And yes, there will hopefully be a time when you’re not chasing skirts)
I’d also like to point out, that by sleeping with married or taken women, you attract more of that type to you. There is something called the Law of Attraction, in which what you focus on, you bring into your life. If you are antsy and pugnacious, you will find yourself talking to more guys who want to fight you. If you belief women are sweet and polite, that will be your reality too. Cultivate the belief of loyal, amazing women being available all around you. It is impossible to cultivate that if you’re sleeping with taken women consistently.
It should be said, on the flipside, that not every woman that mentions “her boyfriend” really has one, of course. There is room for some discretion. A woman who mentions “I went shopping with my boyfriend,” could be just trying to look good in front of her coworkers. A woman who says “My boyfriend leaves the dishes out every night, it’s sooo annoying,” probably is in a legitamate relationship. Generally, if a woman brings it up as objection, I would take it seriously.
The bottom line is that there is a huge abundance of beautiful, fun, single women out there, so there is no reason to spend energy on women who are in committed relationships. Ease your karma in more ways than one, and stick to the free birds.
–Dan
Filed by dan at February 18th, 2007 under Uncategorized
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January 1, 2007
Wait…. Did you hear me right? I didn’t say “Leave on a good note,” as in “When they’re laughing and smiling, it’s time for you to leave before they get bored of you.” What I mean is, no matter how the interaction goes, when it’s time to leave, do it positively. You should be in set until they either leave, tell you to leave, or until you’ve exhausted all closing options; e.i., tried to bounce and number close.
One thing that Lance Mason is right about from Pickup 101, as well as Mystery, is that you can always say “Pleasure meeting you” no matter what happened. If you have to leave the set to bounce, say “Pleasure meeting you”. If they say “Fuck off,” say “Pleasure meeting you.” You want to say “Fuck you bitches!” if they’re rude, but you really will make them feel a lot worse for their actions if you end it positively. They will think “Wow, I was such a bitch to that nice guy.” They will NOT think they were bitchy if you call them bitches, ironically.
Last night, I was heading home from a train in NYC. I was dead tired from making out with this girl ALL night. There was a huge mob to the train to NJ, and we all had to squeeze into every seat. This one really cute girl came up with her guy friend, and asked to sit with me, while her guy friend sat a seat on the other side. When she sat next to me, she started giving me a lot of indicators of interest, and asking me all these questions about myself. We were getting along really well, and if this had been in San Diego, I would have just gotten her number and maybe even made her my girlfriend. She was an intelligent, sophisticated, sweet person, and good looking as well.
However, I live in California on the other side of the United States. I could get a number, but for what? I thought, “Why not go for another make-out for tonight?” I started to physically escalate. I was still very tired, so it probably came off a little incongruent. I had my arm around her at one point, and then finally went for the kiss. It looked like she was going to kiss back, but she then moved her head, and exclaimed “We’re on a train!!! And my friend’s right there!”
I pointed out that her friend was drunk and barely conscious, but it seemed to still be a concern. However, I find it interesting that those were the objections, and not “I just met you.” That being said, she probably found it odder that I was going for it on the most crowded public transportation situation of the year instead of the fact that I was doing this within 20 minutes of meeting her.
I turned down the escalation a bit, and continued talking, acting as unreactive as possible. Eventually, I went for it again. This time she REALLY moved her head away, and said “SERIOUSLY!!”
This was kind of a shock for me, and I was too reactive. I took my hand back from around her, and gave her some space. It was kind of awkward and we didn’t make eye contact for a few seconds. A minute later, she got up and moved to another seat a couple rows back.
I felt kind of bad. Not for rejection, but just that I made her feel uncomfortable. I would hate to have a girl feel like she was stuck in a situation where she had to be hit on even if she didn’t like it. A crowded train was pushing it, because there weren’t many other seats. A plane ride where there are assigned seats would be TOO far, in my opinion. I always like to leave them a way out.
I relaxed, and waited for my stop, wondering what the older guy on the other side of me was thinking about this whole event. When it got to my stop, i started walking to the doors, and stopped by her seat. I patted her shoulder and said “Nice meeting you.” She gave me a genuine smile with a chuckle and said “It was nice meeting you too.” There was no harm done. Good ending to the night. If I had left without saying bye, not only would it have made me more creepy to her, but I would have left thinking I had pushed it too far. Instead, it was just a fun experience. Always end it on a good note.
Filed by dan at January 1st, 2007 under Uncategorized
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December 27, 2006
My little brother just wrote this rap about me I just had to share:
“Yo what up my name is dan,
I instruct dating masters like no man can.
When I get to the bar, well, you know me,
Most guys don’t get to far, but I’m a 1,2,3
Make-out session maestro, always on the go,
Break hearts and start obsessions cause I’m in the know,
Wanna style like me, you don’t need to get thinner,
I’ll show you the way to be if you just buy me dinner.”
Not bad huh?
Filed by dan at December 27th, 2006 under Uncategorized
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I’m on a plane to NJ as I type this, and learning some great NLP stuff on the way. This guy, Kenrick Cleveland, has this fascinating rapport system I’m just starting to master. I’ll post a little bit more on it later, but to give an example, last night I walked up to the bar, where there was a row of people already there waiting. I made eye contact, and the bartender came up to me and served me first, instead of the row that was there already waiting. Powerful stuff.
Anyway, last night was a different kind of sarge night. Christmas Eve is usually a rather lonely night for a Jew, and to make up for this, sometimes the Jewish community centers in the area sponsor events for people to enjoy, while the gentiles are home doing their thing. At the local House of Blues, the JCC had a party called “The Place to Be.” This would be an interesting night. Tons of single Jewish women available. The flyer had a sexy woman in a nightgown dancing the night away, so that was an implied guarantee that there would be at least one hot girl to dance with.
I found out about the event really last minute. My lovely female friend Alexandra gave me a call and asked me to come with her. I balked at the $30 cover (like a good Jew would), but she prodded and said “I pay,” in perfect Latvian accent and phrasing. I said “Hmmm… ok.” Then she turned around on me and said, “Don’t be so cheap, pay for your own ticket!”
I was just like, “Huh? I’m out then.” She then said “Ok, I pay.” I agreed again, which followed by another “Why are you being so cheap, you should just pay!” This cycle happened three or four more times until I told her she just had to make a decision of whether she wanted me to go or not. It’s funny how women throw these tests at you, offering to pay, when they expect you to pick up the tab yourself. I’m notorious for failing these tests, because if a woman wants to buy me dinner, a drink, or timeshare, I am just delighted and must accept it. I think the whole idea of offering something you don’t want to give is ridiculous. She finally came around and agreed to pay.
We met at the place, and went in. I offered to buy the first drink, like a true gentleman. Buying two drinks amounted to $20! I had just repaid her 33.3% in the first five minutes. You never know what to expect when a Jewish party is being hosted. Either they’ll charge a lot because they assume you’re rich, or they’re charge very little because they assume you’re cheap. The group hosting this party opted for the first option.
I did have the displeasure of trying the “Manishewitz Martini.” For those of you who are not from the tribe of Judah, Manishewitz makes this cheap sweet wine used mostly for religious ceremonies. It’s the opposite of classy, and has a twist-off cap. It makes 2 Buck Chuck (Charles Shaw) look like $300 French champagne. I’ve definitely had my drunken Passover nights from 4 cups of Manishewitz, but it’s not my wine of choice. Still, the novelty of a Manishewitz Martini was impossible to pass up. I had Alex buy me one, (it was her turn), and I tried a sip. AWFUL! I had never tried a drink that bad. It was so bad I asked for an exchange and successfully got a more expensive Citron Cosmo for the same price. I was impressed with myself since I usually have a hard enough time getting an exchange at Circuit City with a warrantee.
Once the whole drink issue was settled, it was time to socialize. The first thing I noticed was how familiar some women looked. I felt like I recognized them, but didn’t know them. I realized soon, that there were quite a few J-date girls here. These were women I had talked to online but had never met. Some I hadn’t even talked to but had seen profiles of.
Tyler from RSD says that if you recognize a girl from somewhere, you’re not supposed to bring it up, and use it as a last resort. I guess that’s a valid point, but it was just too tempting to bring it up. Part of me wanted to go to some of them and say, “You declined my instant message, what’s up with that??” Interestingly enough, the bitchy girls online were bitchy girls in person. It was fun chatting some of them up though. I could just walk up to one girl and say, “Do you have a brother named David?” or “How’s the bartending?” just by having seen her bartending in a profile picture. Most girls weren’t happy with the J-date recognition. If I mentioned “I think I’ve seen you on J-date,” some would sneer, roll their eyes and say “I love it when guys tell me that.”
I found one woman who had blocked me online earlier, and said hi. She was actually pretty friendly when I mentioned J-date at first. We had previously gotten into a religious debate, which resulted in her blocking me. It was going fine until she remembered what our religious debate was about, and started hollering at me again out of nowhere, then turned her back and said “Bye!” I went from getting blocked online to getting blocked in person in the exact same way.
Jewish events are ground zero for me for some reason. I know I’ve given Moondoggies that title in the past, but as I’ve gotten better, I think the Jewish events take the cake for the hardest place for me to pick up. I can chat up all these hot girls in bars everywhere, but at Jewish events I get shut out, while dorky guys with terrible body language fly under the radar and are hooking sets. I don’t get it.
One theory I have is that the girls that come to these kinds of events want a break from the cool bar guy. Doesn’t make logical sense, but I guess I could see them wanting variety. My friend DJFuji had another idea though, that these girls were much more conservative, being of a more religious background, and I was coming off with a big player vibe. I guess that could be possible, but I always prefer to blame the environment instead of the people. Who knows. It’s ironic, because I’ve had so much success meeting J-date girls in general.
No one knew at the event that I run Pickupmastery.com, but several guys asked me for dating advice. This one guy who was maybe 57 or so was chatting me up like crazy while I was waiting for Alex to arrive. He kept talking about how he felt the Southern California girls were phoney and gold-diggers. I haven’t found that at all, and told him maybe he should try J-date and working on his game in general. In me, he found a ray of hope, and started seeking more assurance. “So you really think there are nice girls in this area?” “Are there women who won’t demand I be a 6 foot tall model?” “Are there nice women that don’t have kids? Cause I don’t want kids.” This was more then I could handle, so I faked a cell phone call and walked out. I had tried to give him a few websites but he didn’t take the bait. Some guys just don’t know how to get themselves handled.
Later in the night some guys were talking about Jdate, and some realized I was doing well off there and wanted a pep talk on how to work it. I explained some of that stuff to them, but it’s kind of hard to condense everything into a short speech that will fit someone. One of the guys looked just really dorky with bad body language and poor style. I doubted he would be very photogenic, and he seemed to have a long way to go. This wasn’t because the guy was bad looking. I’ve seen plenty uglier guys than that become gurus. He also heard me say I had an easier time at the bars than the Jewish events, and asked if he should go there for women. I was thinking “Dang, this guy would get absolutely eaten alive at PB Bar and Grill.” I told him that he should really work these Jewish events because they’d be easier for him than for me. The girls there really do like guys like him more, and I guess it’s fair that they should have some place to thrive.
Alex was dressed really sexy (yet classy), so old guys were checking her out like crazy all night. She had her time of J-date men wanting to “rekindle the online flame” as well. I don’t know why, but I found myself AMOGing most of them. It’s very much something a chick would do, testing guys to see if they’re worthy of her friend. If a guy couldn’t stand up against me tooling him a bit, Alex would get bored of him and it wouldn’t work out anyway. I found one guy I thought was a good match for her, but she wasn’t into him at all. Tough breaks.
Anyway, I’ll be in the NJ/NYC area this week, so if you’re around, send me an email at dan(at)pickupmastery.com.
Filed by dan at December 27th, 2006 under Uncategorized
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December 21, 2006
Had an interesting time out with Joz at PB Bar and Grill this past weekend. I was training my new wingwoman Alexandra, who was very amazed at this whole thing. She had read “The Game,” and was shocked to hear that I knew Mystery and Style, and all those peeps. It’s funny how varied the reactions are of women who read about this little subculture. Some are put off and wonder why any guy would train to do this, while others are fascinated and become “PUA groupies.”
Anyway, I was out with her and Joz, and it was fun finally sarging again, after taking an extended break do to final exams. I was amazed to see this past student of mine, Scorch, out looking slick. When I’d first met him, he was at a the bar in a baseball cap, college sweatshirt, cheap jeans, and sneakers. Now he had this slick blazer, lost the cap, and looked like he owned the place. I actually had to double check to make sure it was actually him. It’s amazing how much difference your style can make in the field.
One problem he was having was that his sets weren’t hooking very easily when he used indirect openers, such as opinion openers. I used opinion openers for a long time, and still do from time to time, but I can see why they would fail with certain people.
An opinion opener shouldn’t look like an “excuse” to go to talk to a group of girls. The problem is, that’s what if often looks like. When you ask the girls’ opinion on how you should stop your sister from getting a terrible tattoo, your body should be rocking, and you should look like you spontaneously asked them while you were walking by.
If that’s too hard, you might as well do a social opener and just say “Hey, you guys seem fun, I just had to say hi…” or “You guys have a cool energy, I just had to see what you were like,” (Credit to Mehow for both of these, though they have been done in some variation for as long as the game existed). Most girls know what you’re up to anyway, so it often makes sense to just straight up unapologetically let them know you’re just being social and making your rounds.
I often have to dumb down my vocabulary when talking to girls in Pacific Beach, for some reason. If you say a word like “caustic” or “composite,” get ready for a blank stare. Saturday night, however, I ran into more than I could handle. I’m originally from the east coast, and was talking about that with two girls at the bar. I said “It gets so cold over there sometimes, that with the wind-chill factor, it gets below zero…”
The girls responded with “It’s impossible to go below zero!”
I kinda just stared. How could I respond to that? The girls had gotten through at least high school and still didn’t think the temperature could go below zero. I suppose they could have been talking about the Kelvin scale, but for some reason, I doubt that. I excused myself pretty soon after that. I’m pretty flexible but I thought that was a pretty clear sign of incompatibility with me.
When Joz and I were going through a debrief of the night, this drunk Asian girl came up to us and started kinoing. She first showed more attention to Joz, but then turned to me as the interaction went on. At one point, she asked my name and I said “I told you twice already.” She then said “You gave it to me twice? How come I didn’t feel it?” I put my thumb and finger an inch apart, and said, “Becaus my dick is this big….”
As soon as I said that her jaw dropped, and she hugged, kissed me on the cheek, then pulled me again and kissed me on the lips. When you do a DLV that’s a DHV, you get these kinds of reactions. It just shows so much value when you say something negative about yourself that you obviously dont’ believe, and prove that you dont’ care what she thinks.
I had a similar situation in Ocean Beach, when a drag-away girl was pulling her friend off and said “Go away cocksucker!” I replied to her “I’m the best cocksucker you’ll ever meet!” As soon as I said that, she started crawling all over me. It’s just a huge turn-on for some reason.
Anyway, I apologize for the delay since the last post, and there will be much more to come. I’m going to party with a super-PUA in NYC on the 27th, and will report back on the adventures!
Filed by dan at December 21st, 2006 under Uncategorized
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November 29, 2006
Do you find yourself keeping score when you approach? Were 3 of them good, one of them bad? Do you go home after you get a number to end the night on a high note?
My favorite: Out of the girls you’ve tried to kiss, how many have turned their head?
Thinking like this will KILL your progress.
I realized this was a problem when I was talking to some friends out of the country who had never been blown off for a kiss in their lives. Guess what, they had maybe 3 kisses their entire lives! Now I know that’s not most of you, but I’m willing to bet a lot of you learning have often waited for the most part until you were absolutely sure you were getting that number, that kiss, or that lay, before going for it. Maybe you were trying to save your confidence and self esteem.
I’ll tell you one thing, if your confidence is that fragile that you need to protect it by not going after girls who might not reciprocate interest, then it’s not real confidence to begin with.
I sometimes forget how newbies can think, being that it’s been so long since I thought that way. Rather than assuming you are a good pick-up artist because of the results you’re getting, sometimes one can get caught up in the actual ratio of successes to misses. This is meaningless. I’ll tell you a little known secret that some gurus dont’ want you to know.
NO ONE has a winning record in pickup.
No guy has gotten 80 numbers out of the 100 numbers they have asked for. No one with any real success has successfully kissed every girl they went for. Your ratio of hits to misses is always going to be on the smaller side.
And by the way, though your proportion of hits to misses drastically improves as you get better, you’ll always have misses. Anyone who says they hit 5 for 5 is living in a fantasy world.
Sometimes at a bar I’ll kiss three girls. Sometimes I’ll go for kisses with three girls and get none of them. It doesn’t faze me
Don’t keep score. If winning the game was based on having the best record, then Tyler from RSD would be the worst PUA of all time. Instead he’s one of the best. The attitude he took was to “field test” everything. He would try doing a venue-change in the first minute, the fourth minute, before a comfort routine, after the comfort routine. He was experimenting to see how everything would work in every scenario. With that mindset, you never even feel rejected because the bar is just your social test lab. I suggest you go about it the same way.
Filed by dan at November 29th, 2006 under Uncategorized
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